So back at the beginning of May I took my SAT test. I was kind of nervous about it, but also kind of overconfident because I’m pretty good at taking tests. So I didn’t study, which may or may not have been problematic, but I hate studying anyway.

Here’s the thing, if you are in the top ten percent of your class, most public colleges don’t even look at your ACT and SAT scores. They just let you in automatically. And since I don’t think I’ll be able to pay for a private college (that would mean a lot of student loans for me and I’m not exactly aiming for a very lucrative job) I’ll probably end up going to a public school. So I’ve been looking at public schools and I’m in the top ten percent of my class… why did I take the SAT again? (Because everyone has to take the SAT, it’s not an optional thing.)

So I got my score today…..I wasn’t too concerned because I am in the top ten percent and it doesn’t really matter…but at the same time I’m kind of happy. I got a 1380 out of 1600, which is good, I think. The average (according to this other blog post I found) is 1000 and a 1200 or above is considered excellent. I suppose I’m excellent.

I should be happy about that I guess, but the whole college thing still kind of freaks me out. It’s a big change, you know? And all my friends are so much smarter than me…. Like, 1380 might be considered excellent but my best friend Maroon got like a 1550 so who’s really excellent here. (Hint: not me.) Maroon’s visiting Stanford, for goodness sake! And she’s not the only one of my friends that is Ivy League material!

I should probably stop comparing myself to my friends.

Here’s the thing I have to remember: at the end of the day, grades aren’t going to matter. The college you went to isn’t going to matter. Most adults don’t even remember their SAT or ACT scores. And after it stops being all my life is about, I’ll soon forget as well. Just because it’s easier for me to become an author than it is for Maroon to become a rocket scientist or brain surgeon or whatever she’ll end up doing doesn’t mean that what I want to do is any less valuable or accomplished.

I should be grateful I don’t have to worry about getting into a college. I should be grateful I get to go to college. And I am very grateful, grateful, stressed out, worried, scared, and trying not to compare myself to others, but mostly grateful.


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