When I was ten years old I swore that I would never wear makeup. When I was eleven, twelve, and thirteen I experienced the rudeness of the “popular” crowd, the pain of being excluded and ignored by someone you thought was your best friend, and the overall shallowness of simple people. This rudeness, exclusiveness, and shallowness all had one thing in common: they were qualities exhibited by people who wore makeup.

My simple tweenage brain just assumed that those things were connected. I assumed that people who wore makeup were shallow and rude and that wearing makeup associated one with those shallow and rude individuals. I was a bit of an idiot, but isn’t everyone from ages ten to thirteen?

As a tweenager, I had great disdain for people I felt were fake or shallow. I couldn’t stand them. I didn’t want to be anything like them. I thought that their use of makeup was a consequence of them caring too much about themselves and their appearences, a consequence of their shallow behavior.

I started wearing makeup when I was fourteen, for colorguard. I had to for performances, and it had to be full show makeup. So every Friday before football games my big sis in guard, Emma, sat me down and did my makeup.

I hated it, at first, and would make comments to my mom about disliking wearing makeup. But to the others at school that had no idea about my past opinions, I kept quiet. Emma did my makeup, which I appreciated, and I enjoyed having the attention of an upperclassman (she was a junior when I was a freshman). After a couple of months, she started teaching me a few things, just a little at a time. I would do my foundation, then she would come in and do the rest. I would do my foundation and blush. She told me that in the fast-paced world of colorguard, I needed to be able to do my own makeup. She wouldn’t always have time to do it for me. So I started to learn.

And I loved it. As soon I began to learn, I did my makeup every day. To me, makeup was an art. And I wasn’t good at anything else artsy, but I was good at makeup (or at least I thought so). I did full makeup every day, first to practice because I wanted to prove to Emma I was learning and I could take care of myself, then because I enjoyed it. I started to realize that people don’t do their makeup because they’re shallow and self-centered, people do their makeup because it’s fun.

Now, nearly four years later, I still do my makeup every day, I still look for new skills and new ideas. I play around with eyeshadows to find new combinations and absolutely love lipstick. Makeup has become part of my life, part of my identity. Because of colorguard I’ve had to learn so much more about makeup that I wouldn’t have discovered on my own. I’m known in my friend group as a makeup guru, and have often helped them with their makeup. I’ve considered in college finding a job like at Sephora or Ulta or something, so I can do people’s makeup and get paid. I’m no expert on makeup, but I’d like to be. 

It’s crazy how in such a short time my attitude towards makeup flipped. See, now I know that it’s not about what’s on the face, but what’s behind the face. It matters more what a girl is thinking and saying and doing than how much or how little makeup she wears. The outward appearence is no indicator of who someone truly is.

Makeup isn’t used to cover up flaws or to make a woman prettier. It’s used to eccentuate the beauty that already exists. Beauty is power, and when I feel beautiful, I feel powerful. Makeup gives me confidence, a sense of self-worth, a sense of self-value. Not that I feel less confident or valued without it, and no one should depend on makeup for their value, but it does give that extra boost.

Anyway those were some thoughts I was having today while doing my makeup. High fives to all those beauty bloggers out there. I love reading your stuff.

Okay that’s all I’ve got to say. I’m just really bad at conclusions, sorry guys.



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