All Alone

I grew up listening to stories about how my parents met. My mom was 16. My dad was 14. He was a freshman in high school. She was a junior. They went to the same church, saw each other at youth group every Wednesday. They started dating soon after my dad’s 14th birthday. They dated for six years, all the way through high school and two years into college for my dad, then got married. My mom was an English teacher then, and my dad worked as an intern for some car company or something. They were married for three years, then had me and moved down south. They’ve been married for 19 years now.

I know their story like the back of my hand. So when I became a freshman, I kind of had these expectations that I would meet my soulmate in high school.

Needless to say, those are sort of high expectations.

Yep, reading this now makes me feel a little silly. But it’s true. I thought I would step into high school and meet this cute, perfect boy and date him all the way through college. Just like my parents.

Now, as a junior, I know life is a little more complicated than that. High school sweethearts are kind of rare.

First of all, high school boys are idiots that race their cars and crash them, skip class, don’t do their homework, and do drugs. I don’t want to date just to be social; I have higher standards than that. Second of all, the boys that aren’t idiots are already dating someone way prettier than me. And third of all, soulmates are hard to come by. I know that God created me with a plan and a purpose for my life. He knows me best, and He also knows who will be best for me. He created a man out there somewhere who is my soulmate, and the probability that that same guy goes to my high school is pretty low.

Okay. So I wait. But I can’t help but long for that kind of relationship. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. Dating, when done right, looks like the best thing ever. It’s like having a best friend that can only be your best friend, nobody elses. Someone who loves you for you. Somebody who, if you’re dating the right way, intends to possibly marry you and spend the rest of their life with you.

The scary thing is I’m falling down the path that many a teenage girl has fallen down before. I want the relationship, the attention, someone to value me. So, for some girls, when a guy gives them a little attention they can mistake it for a possibility of the kind of relationship they’re looking for. We have to ask ourselves: do we like this guy because we like him or because we like the attention? I think this is how a lot of girls end up in bad relationships. They’re just so desperate for someone to love them they’ll mistake lust for love and attention for being valued. 

I don’t want to be one of those girls. I don’t want to have a summer fling or a two-month dating relationship. I want to date my soulmate, the man God has picked out for me, but I want Him introduce us sooner. I’m a little impatient.

God has His own, perfect, timing. I’ll just have to suck it up and get used to being single. God will introduce us at the best time possible.

I’m a strong, independent woman. (Who would really like to date someone, but for the sake of this feministic culture I’ll tell you I don’t need no man.)

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