As some of you may know, because I’ve blogged about it before, I have some problems with the other leaders I work with in colorguard. They think they’re way superior because they’re a year older than me, and I think they’re idiots.
The stress of trying to lead in colorguard, work around the people that hold the team down, and deal with school has been very overwhelming. I’ve had multiple breakdowns where I just sit there and cry. It happened a bunch during some marching competitions, and a few times at practice. Needless to say, I struggle keeping myself put together and working with the other leaders.
Last night at church we listened to a pastor named Greg Rohlinger speak. It was a video of one of his previous messages two years ago; Rohlinger passed away earlier in December.
His message was called “Keep on Rocking.” He talked about the disease he had (I don’t remember what it was called) and how it was slowly killing his central nervous system. It took away his legs first, and slowly stopped all movement. Rohlinger was not as ill in the video; he could still walk and just had problems with his legs. He talked about how he got up in the morning. He said he had to rock and rock to get feeling in his legs and his muscles. He would just sit there and rock for ten, twenty minutes before he finally could stand.
His life story was powerful enough, but then Rohlinger went on to tell us that there is value in the struggle. That nothing comes into our lives without first going through God’s hands. The struggle will make you stronger. The place that you’re in now, however hard and terrible, is preparing you and giving you the skills you need so God can elevate you and bless your life.
Just those words “there’s value in the struggle” encouraged me. I have struggled so, so much. I have bashed heads with the other leaders more than I’d like to admit. They do things I know is wrong and treat people in a way that horrifies me. But fighting through it, struggling through it, is worth it.
Honestly, I almost started to cry. Just having someone there telling me all those tears and all that pain wasn’t for nothing…. I was so thankful.
There is value in the struggle. I can see the immediate benefits of struggling this year. The other junior leaders and I will be seniors next year. We’ve had so many example of what not to do, our leadership team is sure to be much stronger. We’ve struggled, we’ve fought for what we know is right, and next year we can use the skills we’ve learned to lead even better.
Maybe there’s something in the distant future, something God has planned for me that I’m not aware of. Maybe I’ll need the skills and abilities I’m being taught through the awful experiences I’ve been through this school year.
There is value in the struggle. Know that. God doesn’t waste your tears.
Rest in peace Greg Rohlinger. Your life is an inspiration to believers everywhere.