Last year I had a class with this guy. He was friends with all of my friends, and yet I had never really talked to him or gotten to know him. In this class, he was the only person I kind of knew, so we ended up talking and working together. A lot.
By Christmas, I had a crush on him.
I didn’t really do anything about it, because dating in high school never ends well, but I enjoyed having that class with him and we talked everyday and it was great. As the year came to an end I was starting to change my mind. Maybe dating in high school isn’t such a bad thing, if you aren’t stupid about it. And I really liked this guy.
The only other problem was my best friend had a crush on him as well. I didn’t really think anything of it until the last day of school.
The three of us were walking out of the school building, talking about summer and freedom. My best friend and I had epic plans for the day so we were super excited. We walked in a line: my best friend, then me, then the guy we both liked.
We were almost to the parking lot when there was a lull in the conversation. Not much of a lull, just that transitionary silence there is between topics. And then the guy looked over me at my best friend and asked if she would like to go out to dinner with him on Monday.
I stepped back, making our line more of a triangle.
I hadn’t realized how much I liked him until that moment. It hurt to be literally overlooked. I wanted to be happy for my best friend, but at the same time I was feeling crushed on the inside. I spent the rest of the day with her. We didn’t really talk about it. I don’t remember if I ever told her I liked him, or if she found out some other way, but after that day I never brought it up.
So they went on dates over the summer. I don’t know how many or to where. The topic seemed to make her slightly uncomfortable, but my friend has always been touchy with relationships. It has to do with her parents being divorced and her spiteful older sister. She seemed to at least be happy, so I tried to be happy too.
Once school started, we all became incredibly busy with marching band. Even if they wanted to go on a date, there wasn’t any time. There’s never been anything official between the two of them. She hasn’t talked about anything related to him with any of us, as far as I know.
There’s some part of me that keeps piping up, saying maybe it’s over, maybe it didn’t work out for them. Maybe my friend decided she didn’t like him all that much after all. But I squish down that hope, telling myself it doesn’t matter anyway, he doesn’t like me.
My best friend invited me to be a part of a homecoming group with her and some of our other friends. Once she put me in the group message, I noticed that he was in the group as well, but I knew for a fact that he hadn’t asked her or anybody.
I’ve debated over going or not going. I didn’t want to go and watch them be all cute together. But I didn’t want to miss out on a fun time with my friends (specifically, you know, with him).
I’ve noticed over the past couple of days, paying more attention to the two of them interacting with one another, that my best friend still really likes him. So even if my some strange phenomenon he ends up liking me, I wouldn’t want to risk ruining my friendship with her. I value her too much as a friend to throw it away over some boy.
Tonight is homecoming. I don’t have a date. I’ll be with my group of friends, some of which have dates, my best friend, and him.
In a couple years, nothing that has happened in high school will matter. But right now it does.